Breaking the Ice...
Ok, so today wasn't bad at all. We had our first church service today (well fellowship thing). Anyway, it was really fun and I hope to do it again next Sunday. After that, I went back to the church for the first time in a while with a few other families who went to the fellowship (church). when I walked into the fellowship hall, the first thing I saw was Ms. Sandie with open arms. And if you had seen me, I ran to her. And then I saw Pastor Lawler and he is like one of my other dads. I was so happy that they were the first people I saw.
I was some what afraid of the reaction I would get from the members of First Baptist. "Will they think of me as a trader?" "Will they not want to talk to me because we left?" But I was completly wrong. They came up to me with open arms just like they would do when I still went there. And I felt all warm and fuzzy inside :) and I remembered that just because we left doesn't mean anything and that they love us for who we are and that nothing would change that.
Now I didn't even know that Pastor Gainey and Mrs. Cheral were there until I bumped into Mrs. Cheral and I didn't know it was her until she turned around, and she said, " Hi Jessi! How you doin'?" and pulled me close and hugged me. Now at first I was a little unsure about hugging her, but then I remembered that she is still the same Ms. Cheral as she was when we left and I gave her a big hug and she said," Thank you Jessi, I needed that." Now I didn't know why but I think the Gaineys had a long day, because Pastor said that too. Then I walked over to my mom and Pastor was standing there talking. Now I know he was missing me because he left the conversation as soon as he saw me and gave a hesitant and yet soothing hug. It was kind of like he was asking permission to hug and I gave him the okay. I talked to him for a little while and then I walked away when silence started to come into play. I was happy and releived that I finally broke the ice with First Baptist.
A good friend of mine once told me, "Its better to break the ice rather then just keep letting it build up."
Love,
Jessi
posted by Jessi @ 9:48 PM
8 Comments:
You're so sweet Jessi. I just love how you share exactly what's on your heart. Tonight was good. We are all one one family, one people under heaven, children of the Most High God. Forgiveness and grace are key to keeping our hearts clean. It's not always easy, but its right.
I love you girl.
I love you all too! and I am sorry Ms.Sandie for not answering you and after you told me that I felt so bad and I love you soooo much and nothing will ever change that. I am just wanting to be done with first baptist not the people there.
I still love all of them very much!
Love,
Jessi
Jason you are so awesome you are really cool and i really like to read your stuff
hearts ya!
Jessi
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My Jessi-bird, you continue to leave me in awe of your sheer open honesty. I love you, my chick!
jessi (aka~~wonder women)
thank you for sharing your heart; i too was felling strange about going back and seeing everyone. my 1st hug went to pastor lawler and it felt great, then hank lo-, tony p., aleta, etc... it was cool to say hi to pastor g and miss cheryl too.
i still felt outa place slightly and i'm still mentally processing the whole experience. peace out.
Jessi, I have the same feelings you have. I have not been back to FBc yet since we "offically left". I must admit, I am concerned about how people will look at me. I know that many people think Steve and I left because our friends left, but that is SO UNTRUE and I wonder if any of them will believe me. I am so happy to hear your experience was good, it gives me hope that I can love the members of FBC without being there. Thank you for this post, it has given me great hope that I can connect with the people I love who are still at FBC.
At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. - Matthew 11:25
Wow, Jessi! In all the blogs that have spawned out of of FBC, this is definitely among the best posts. It's real, it's from the heart, and gives us all food for thought. Thanks for sharing.
Have a blast at DCLA! We're all proud of you!
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